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Bipolar Dementia Art Chronicles

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A Year of Making Art, Day 302: No Peaceful Space

February 15, 2008  Day 302

I had trouble falling asleep last night and could not find a peaceful space in my head today.  One thing that didn't help was my new Imac freezing up on me.  That was scary, but after fooling with it, I realized the problem was with the mouse.  It turned out that it just needed new batteries, but I had thought that couldn't possibly be the problem since I hadn't had it that long.  So I wasted a call to Apple tech help.

With lots of interruptions, my drawing finally got done:

Drawing308500 Drawing #308  14" x 11"

Then I tried to figure out what to do with Canvas #34, but I'm afraid my choice is just making it worse:

Canvas348500   Canvas #34  48" x 48"

I did sell two paintings today, and that's always good for my mood:

Bluecity200 Blue City, 36" x 36"

Dancinginthefire200   Dancing In The Fire, 40"  x 30"

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

 

A Year of Making Art, Day 301: From Loose to Sloppy

I attempted to be "loose" in today's drawing, but sometimes that translates into "sloppy," which I think may be the case here:

Drawing307500  Drawing #307  14" x 11"

Next I tackled Canvas #34, and I think I may have made things worse:

Canvas347500  Canvas #34  48" x 48"

We are finally getting a little sun today, and I'm looking forward to a walk in the woods with my neighbor.  The trails will probably be a bit treacherous with the snow, sleet and freezing rain stopped with more snow we've had over the last few days, but we'll survive.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 300: Spider Phobia

February 13, 2008  Day 300

Today I used the wide tip of my Zig calligraphy pens to make criss-crossing lines across the surface of the paper.  Then I created a denser central area with finer lines and circles, finally adding texture and filling in some spaces for emphasis.

Drawing306500  Drawing #306  14" x 11"

Next I had to tackle Canvas #34, which was problematic because of the dark blue background.  I drew a few organic shapes in Alizarin Crimson, and then filled them in with a mixture of Alizarin Crimson, deep red, and gloss medium.  Now what do I do after this?

Canvas346500  Canvas #34  48" x 48"

My studio is used to capacity, but we have a huge basement that I avoid because of all the big ugly wolf spiders that live there.  This week we have a contractor filling in all the cracks between the floor and the wall (the spider's favorite hiding place).  Adrian is sorting through everything and took a huge carload to the Salvation Army and the dump.  The contractor built shelves to hold my stretchers and rolled canvases on one wall.  So maybe I'll feel comfortable enough to use this space in the future.

Warm weather will be the final test.  I've had a spider phobia all my life.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 299: Door Locked, Building Closed

February 12, 2008  Day 299

This morning I started with brown and tan calligraphy pens, adding fine black lines for texture and then finishing with a dark brown.

Drawing305500 Drawing #305  14" x 11"

After that, I had to complete the top and bottom edges of Canvas #34 (see previous post).  Still, I don't now what I will do with it next.

Our bipolar support group meeting last night was canceled due to a storm.  I know a lot of people are going to miss it, including one new person I wasn't able to reach with the information.  There's nothing worse than finally getting up the nerve to go to a meeting and then finding the door locked and the building closed when you get there.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 298: Following a Myth

February 11, 2008  Day 298

I covered the whole sheet of paper in today's drawing, using the full gamut of color in loosely drawn lines made with calligraphy pens.  Then it needed toning down, so I added some bold lines with dark brown, gray and black.  I'm not completely happy with the result, but it is at least bold:

Drawing304500  Drawing #308  14" x 11"

Looking at Canvas #34 again, I didn't like the pale blue organic shapes sitting by themselves in the amorphous background, so I painted in the background with a darker blue.  Now I may be stuck.  What can I possibly do with this painting next?

Canvas345500_4 Canvas #34  48" x 48"

Later Laura looked up the author of Never Cry Wolf (see previous post), and we discovered that the story may have been mostly fiction.  The romantic idea of this man's bold adventure living among wolves in the freezing tundra for over a year was dashed.  Adrian had been following a myth, not a reality. 

Does it matter?

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 297: Never Cry Wolf

February 10, 2008  Day 297

Today was a day for blues in my drawing and painting:

Drawing303500  Drawing #303  11" x 14"

The painting is at an early stage:

Canvas344500   Canvas #34  48" x 48"

When Adrian came back from his walk through the woods with Roxy, Laura said I'd better see if he needs help because his pants looked bloody.  Well, he had fallen in the woods and when I helped him get his boot off, it was full of blood, which spilled and splashed.  He wanted to use bath towels to stand on and clean up with, but the thought of bloody towels  did not appeal to me, so I used paper towels, wrapping them around his leg so he could make it to the bathroom without trailing blood behind him.

A few minutes later, I checked on him in the bathroom, which was now covered in blood.  He wanted to use regular band aids to stop the bleeding, but I put on gauze packs and tape, with Bacitracin to prevent an infection.  He's resting now.

Because Adrian's skin is so thin (he's 81 years old) and he takes anti-stroke and blood-pressure medication, he bleeds easily and profusely.  Combine that with his indefatigable determination to hike in the woods with Roxy for hours at a time, and you are bound to have a bloody mess occasionally.  The good news is that he heals fast.

Last night we watched Never Cry Wolf, a movie about a scientist studying wolves in the Arctic tundra by living among them, and Adrian said he was inspired by the lead character.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

 

A Year of Making Art, Day 296: A Resolution and Peace

February 9, 2008  Day 296

Today I feel much better (see previous post).  After I broke down crying, Adrian and I had a good talk, and he agreed with me about the necessity of my having some peaceful time in the studio, and keeping our "stuff" separate.  It will take some work, but at least we agree on the goal.

In this morning's drawing I started with a brown calligraphy pen, adding black, then some tans: 

Drawing302500   Drawing #302  11" x 14"

Then I completed Canvas #35, filling in the rest of the spaces I'd drawn with brown and dark-brown paint:

Canvas358500 Canvas #35 48" x 48"

I finally solved the proportional problem I was having when uploading images to this blog.  By saving them in Photoshop's "web" option as a GIF file, everything worked fine.  So now my square paintings will look square again.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 295: Weepy All Day

February 8, 2008  Day 295

I have been weepy all day, exasperated with Adrian, unable to cope with his continual needs.  He is 81 years old.  Why don't I have more compassion?  A reader of my book recently noted how compassion can turn into exhausted resentment which it is called upon to do more than one can bear.  I am at my wits end.

I want a studio with a door that I can lock from the inside.

Two minutes ago I found water trickling off his wet boots, which he had set down next to my computer.

Yesterday he covered the entire floor and every surface in the basement, including the ping-pong table, with "stuff" he is trying to organize.  What choice did I have but to deal with it, if I ever wanted to set foot in the basement again?  That was how I spent my morning instead of drawing and painting.

I love him, but I can't take this any more.  We have to have separate spaces and he has to deal with his stuff in his spaces and leave my spaces alone.  Knock before entering.

Here is the drawing I just made, finally, at five p.m. today:

Drawing301500  Drawing #301  11" x 14"

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

 

A Year of Making Art, Day 294: Black and Yellow

February 7, 2008 Day 294

Today I used a black calligraphy brush pen to draw with, adding a slice of bright yellow at the end:

Drawing300500 Drawing #300 11" x 14"

After that I filled in two more browns on Canvas #35:

Canvas356500 Canvas #35 48" x 48"

This afternoon I have to pick up Mike and Rachel from school and take them to the orthodontist. Blixy is out of town, but will be back to pick them up after dinner.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 293: Drawing Edge-to-Edge

February 6, 2008 Day 293

In today's drawing I went edge-to-edge, filling the space with red-blue-green-yellow and then adding brown later. The last step was to fill in some spaces with brush pens:

Drawing299500 Drawing #299 14" x 11"

After that I worked on Canvas #35, filling in some of the yellow and tan spaces:

Canvas355500 Canvas #35 48" x 48"

We were promised freezing rain today, but at three p.m. my neighbor called and asked if I wanted to go for a walk in the woods since it wasn't raining at the moment. There was still ice on many of the trails, and we had to cross a raging brook twice. We came back with feet wet up to the ankles, but it was worth it.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)