Abstract Art Blog

More contemporary art on paper, part 2

I went to my bipolar support group meeting last night, and it was a relief to be with people who don't turn away or get embarrassed when you say you're depressed.  I highly recommend support groups for whatever ails you.  I've been going to one for caregivers of spouses with dementia also.  That one is a little more depressing, but we all share advice and try to buck each other up.

Here's the next panting in my contemporary art on paper series:

   Sierra Climb, 24" x 18" acrylic on paper

More contemporary art on paper

I realized over the weekend that I've been depressed for weeks but hiding it from myself and everyone around me.  No one wants to hear about it, except perhaps my therapist, but I didn't even mention it to her.  In fact, when I told my sister about it this morning she said, "Couldn't you continue hiding it for awhile?"  She was kidding, but really, it's just a downer for everyone, especially when nothing can be done about it.

I finally ordered new stretched canvases to paint on, but meanwhile, I'm still using the watercolor blocks I had in the studio.  Here's today's contemporary art on paper:

   Ice Rink Encounter, 24" x 18" on paper

End of Summer Gloom

Cool September days in the northeast remind us that dark winter days are ahead.  In Ithaca, NY, where I live, there is an abundance of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  In the past, I never thought I was affected by the approach of winter, since it lessened the guilt I would feel about staying inside all the time working.  But this Fall has been difficult.

Nevertheless, I completed one last Tic-Tac painting:

   Tic Tac Five, 44" x 44"

I also finished one in similar colors and composition, but without the tic-tac motif:

  Crescendo, 48" x 48"

Now I have to start work on a new commission, a 42 x 56 canvas to be hung in a health consulting firm's conference room.   

A Year of Making Art, Day 350: BOR-ING

April 4, 2008  Day 350

Sixteen more days to go in this "Year of Making Art."

Today I am depressed and lethargic.  It took me all day to get around to my drawing:

   Drawing #357  14" x 11"

In the morning I prepared two giclee prints on canvas for shipping:

  123456

  Placating Your Friends

It's unclear what else I accomplished.  I helped Adrian with the dressing for his infected leg, and putting on his boot cast.  I cleaned up odds and ends.  I did some laundry.

BOR-ING!

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 310: Depressed for No Reason

February 23, 2008  Day 310

I woke up a little depressed this morning, but have no idea why.  Things simply lost their flavor.  I made my drawing anyway, and though it's simple, I'm happy with it:

  Drawing #316  9" x 12"

After that I brought some stretchers up from the basement and started to make canvases.  I really didn't feel like it, but I did it anyway, and when I'd finished five, I felt much better.  I'll make five more tomorow, then gesso them, and I'm good to go.

Laura and Jim stopped over and wanted to go to the movies with us this afternoon, but Adrian said he couldn't disappoint Roxy (our neighbor's dog), so he took her for a walk instead.  I didn't want to go without him in case something happened while he was out in the woods.  He at least takes his cell phone with him and calls me when he's in trouble.

I invited Laura and Jim to come back for dinner, so maybe that will cheer me up.

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 277: When Your Spouse Is Depressed

January 21, 2008 Day 277

Adrian is depressed today and I can't help but think it's my fault. This is a typical reaction when a spouse is depressed. Another common reaction is wanting to escape and hang out with happy people. Typically our roles are reversed: I'm the one who's depressed and Adrian is the one who feels guilty about it.

I made a quick sketch today with a black zig calligraphy brush pen, adding some pale blue and fine-line black:

Drawing #283 11" x 14"

Then I worked on canvas #31 again, covering much of the darker blues and browns with a light blue wash. After that I drew fine yellow and blue lines, feathering them with a dry brush afterwards. Here is the sequence:

Canvas #31 background

Canvas #31 next step

Canvas #31 36" x 36"

Tonight is our art-marketing group meeting and we're going to learn how to use Apple's movie-maker on my new Imac. I am still struggling to get the new computer up-to-speed, installing software and trying to get the feel for how things work. It's always the simplest things that stump you. I know, for instance, how to move things around and deal with files on my pc, but the Imac seem to be hiding it all from me

Having been a pc user since the first one came out, will I ever feel comfortable on the Imac?

(Note: There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 249: Hating the Holiday Season

December 24, 2007  Day 249

I really hate the holiday season.  Our son Eric flies to Florida by himself every year at this time in order to avoid it.  Neighbors come over with home-baked goodies--a tradition I stupidly started the year we moved here.  If family is not around, one can't help but be depressed.  If they are around, there is too much eating and drinking and not enough exercise.

My clients are testy because they don't understand why they can't get what they ordered by Christmas.  I have to get out cards to my business mailing list, write a holiday letter, and send it to our family and friends.  We are not religous people, so the holiday means nothing in that sense.  But culturally, my family has celebrated Christmas forever, and Adrian's family celebrates Hanukah.  We feel obligated to go through the motions.

Writing this makes me think I should do something different next year.  If I can't insert a sincere goodwill in my holiday cards, what's the point in sending them?  If I'm too fat and exhausted to enjoy visitors, why should I invite them?

Last night we stayed up late and slept until 10 a.m.  Groggily, I made today's drawing in browns and tans:

   Drawing #254  14" x 11"

I went out and bought a 12 pound turkey to cook tomorrow, when Blixy and her family will come to celebrate Christmas.  The holiday drummer marches on.

Next year I'm planning two weeks in a warm, exotic place where nobody knows how to spell Xmas.  Does one exist?

(Note:  There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 232: No Patience

December 7, 2007  Day 232

The past few days I was up, and now I'm down.  After cataract surgery, my new eyes are wonderful for distance viewing, but terrible for anything up close to within sixteen inches of my face.  Yesterday I exchanged the reading glasses I'd bought from the drugstore for new ones that didn't work any better, and now I want to return those and try some others.

I won't see the opthalmologist for two weeks to have my eyes tested for a possible new prescription, and I'm not even sure what would work at this point.  When I am drawing, I don't quite see it clearly either way, with or without the reading glasses.  Thus, in frustration, I made this morning's drawing:

  Drawing #237  9" x 12"

I need to make canvases and start painting again, but with these eyes, I don't think I'll even be able to measure correctly.

I know I should give it all time and relax, but I'm not a patient person!

(Note:  There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

A Year of Making Art, Day 191: Painting Again

October 27, 2007  Day 191

I finally started painting again today after returning my studio to its "normal" state at the end of the art trail.  It is always hard to get back into painting when I've been away from it, and I began by taking a canvas I was fairly happy with and turning it into a bigger problem to solve:

  Canvas 23  36" x 36"

In today's drawing I went back to the blue-green series of calligraphy pens, using the brush pens to fill in spaces.  I really prefer these calligraphy pens to anything else, and need to see if I can find them in more color shades than I currently have.

  Drawing #196  12" x 9"

I was a bit down this morning, feeling bored by the sameness of my daily routine.  But I went ahead and worked in spite of it, and then this afternoon Adrian and I took Roxy for a walk in the woods.  We went out after a fresh rain, and it was warm enough that the air felt like Spring instead of late October.

(Note:  There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead.)

 

A Year of Making Art, Day 135: Anxiety + Irritability

September 1, 2007  Day 135

This morning at breakfast, after I pissed Adrian off, he said, "I won't talk to you about anything personal again."  Just as he doesn't really listen to me when I want to vent, I don't listen to him either.  We are both tense.

And thus, I started this morning's drawing with black and gray, staying with it, making patterns and then adding emphasis by texturing spaces with fine lines.  I may not know what I'm doing, but within a narrow context I can work to make a drawing better.

   Drawing #137  11" x 14"

I'm listening to Leonard Cohen these days.  When I can't listen to anything else, I can always listen to Leonard Cohen.

Tonight we are having neighbors over for dessert after dinner.  This is our compromise, a way to have a social life without a huge obligation, like a dinner-party.  But somehow, I am just as freaked out by it.  Once again, I am "waiting for the day to be over" so I can breathe freely again.  Will I ever get past this?

One idea I had was to have friends over every weekend until I get used to it, but at what cost?

It is pitiful how sorry I'm feeling for myself right now.

Later:  I made myself paint today just to get past the crappy feelings, and it helped a lot.  Here's the progress I made on these two conavases:

   Canvas #20  40" x 40"

   Canvas #22  40" x 40"

(Note:  There is a gap between the dates I'm writing and posting in order to give me time to get ahead in case we travel and I'm not able to post.)